The Fitting...

Well one thing is for sure... you definitely have to be skinny as hell or just not give a shit that you have a muffin top to work at Hooter's!  I'll touch on that more in a bit.

So when I walked in for my fitting I was told Boss Lady was in a meeting and I'd have to wait about 15 minutes. Yay, more uncomfortable waiting! So I stood next to the hostess for a bit and chatted with her (because the girl that told me I'd have to wait didn't have enough sense to tell me where I should wait). Once she walked off to do something I stood there by myself for a minute or two before deciding it would probably be best if I sat down at a table to wait. So I chose a booth next to a friendly looking gentleman sitting alone with his beer and stack of scratch off lottery tickets.  This man was a little on the heavy side, probably in his 50s, and sort of reminded me of my grand father.  He seemed pretty harmless so I struck up a conversation (after all, this will make me seem comfortable, friendly, and outgoing right?). My big ice breaker was, "any big winners?" Apparently that was the wrong question to ask this particular man 'cause boy could he talk about his scratch offs. After all, they are who he chose as his dinner companion. He told me all about how he usually spends about $200 on them when he buys them and how normally he wins at least $140 back (well hey, that makes sense... now you've only thrown $60 out the window, alright!) And when he doesn't win anything that's okay because he registers them online because a lot of them offer a chance to win cars, boats or whatever. Oh and when that doesn't work it's okay because if you save all your losing tickets you can use them as an expense on your taxes at the end of the year! He tells me has a shoe box at home, then specifies "no a boot box" that he keeps all of them in and the box is almost full so he'll have to get a new one pretty soon. Oh boy!  At this point I'm thinking "please hurry up Boss Lady & damn I should've just kept my mouth shut". I decide to change the subject, "So do you live around here?" "No, I live in Sandy Springs but I was out riding my Harley when it started raining so I pulled in here to grab a beer and scratch these tickets. You live around here?" he responds. I answer, "no I live in East Cobb which is kinda in between here and Sandy Springs." He then proceeds to tell me how he and his wife own a trucking business, they have 2 trucks right now, but their goal is to buy 10 more so they can pick up larger clients like FedEx.  Apparently he would like to buy a new bike but he just bought his wife a $6k diamond ring and he told himself he'd wait until they bought their 10 new trucks before he'd get himself a new bike (oh good, I was beginning to think this man lacked logic). He continues telling me all about how great his wife is (aww that's sweet, at least I know he's got some class and he's not just trying to pick up the girl with her tits popping out of her shirt thanks to her new VS bra) but, he wasn't always this lucky. He was divorced previously because he didn't understand women but someone recommended he read "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" and ever since then he's got it going on. Remind me to find that book on Amazon!

Enough of that, our conversation went on for what feels like forever. I just hope I didn't jump up to quickly when "Asshole Manager" (yep I get to meet him today!) came over to tell me Boss Lady was ready for me.  I shook Harley Man's hand and told him it was nice chatting with him and then followed Asshole Manager to the bar where Boss Lady was serving customers. She got wrapped up for a few more minutes while I stood there waiting. Just about every HG (that's gonna be Hooter's Girl from now on mmkay?) that walked by was checking me out and sizing me up.  I'd hate to know what goes on in those little heads of theirs. Boss Lady finally comes out from behind the bar and says, "Okay you ready?" Am I ready? Is she for real? "Yep!" I answer with a smile.

She leads me to the restroom and says to wait in the large stall while she gets my uniform. She comes back and hands me a teeny tiny tank top, teeny tiny shorts, stockings, and white scrunchy socks. Secretly, being a product ofthe 80s, I still love these socks and would wearthem all the time if I wouldn't get made fun of. I'm so excited to finally try on a HG uniform!!! I feel pretty good until I walk out and look in the mirror. Oh HOLY SHIT! Where in the F*** did this tiny little muffin top come from? (Well my confidence just went down by about half) She asks, "Well how do you feel?" I reply, "I feel pretty good but is the band supposed to be this tight on the shorts?" She answers, "Oh honey don't worry about that. I've never seen a girl try these on that that hasn't happened to.  You just have to pull the shorts up into somewhat of a half smiley face and it'll look just fine." She tugs on each side and vwallah no more muffin top. Thank god. Okay, now I feel good. I mean honestly, I may have had 2 kids but I am by no means fat and at first those damn shorts made me feel that way! I'm 5'4" and weigh 110. There's no fat on me at all with the exception of just a little tinybit on my tummy that will never go away no matter how I try. Otherwise, my stomach is pretty flat. So just some advice for you ladies wanting to work at Hooter's... don't bother unless you feel confident wearing shorts that are a couple sizes too big for you. And just to clarify... there are girls with a little meat on their bones working for Hooters so it's totally fine IF you are comfortable flaunting everything you got, thats all. :)

I'll update you guys when I get the approval back from corporate.

Ta ta for now ;)